Oh Ollie....

Oh Ollie, we miss you so much.  So much of our life was filled with you just being here.  There are so many things that seem off now that you aren't here.

The house is so incredibly lonely when we are here. I walk in the door each day and I expect to see you waiting for me.  I even say "Hi Ollie" but your sweet is only there to receive my hello in spirit.

Yesterday the doorbell rang for the first time since you died.  That momentary pause, where we would corral you, restrain you, and then open the door....well, it was so sad that that didn't happen.

This weekend I had loads of cake orders.  No one was there to lick up the powdered sugar on the floor.  Instead my shoes started to squeak on the tile, and then I had to mop.  Twice.

I wake up during the night and walk to the bathroom.  I'm so accustomed to stepping gingerly in my bleary-eyed sleep walking state, so as to not step on you if you're in my path.  But you aren't there.

I hear the sound of plastic rustling and think I hear your claws on the tile in the kitchen.

Today we were gone for the afternoon and evening.  After about four hours I thought to myself "I should head home to let Ollie out and feed him."  And then I wish longingly that you could be here for me to come home and let out.

Every morning I instinctively head to the laundry room to give you fresh water and breakfast...even though I have cleaned your bowls and put them away.  It's just habit.

Yesterday we played UNO.  You were always our "card table" during the game, when you would come over and plop down right smack in the middle of our game and let us put our cards down on you.  But no one plopped down in the middle of us yesterday.  The game just wasn't the same without you.

The kids have left food on the table and no one clears it.  They drop crumbs and no one is right there to lap them up.

Daddy turns the TV off at night and when it makes the "off" sound we are used to hearing you jump up.  You always knew that was the sign it was time for bed.  But no one jumps up now.

I went on a walk the other night.  I saw some of the other doggies in the neighborhood that you knew.  I was so jealous that they were walking with their doggies, and I was crying for mine.

We go to bed and expect you to be right there in the middle of us, but you aren't there, and it breaks our hearts.

Sister talks about what a great doggy you were and how much she loved you.  Brother misses you so much - he is constantly looking at pictures of you, and thinking about you.  He worries he's going to forget you.  It breaks our hearts to hear him cry for you.  We all cry for you.  We all miss you.  Life just isn't the same without you; our crazy, bumbling, food-loving, people-centered, high-on-life sweet doggy.

We hope you are having the time of your life now that you are pain free and at peace.  We miss you so much.  Time may heal the wounds, but it will never erase your memory and our love for you.

Love,
Mommy